Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
