I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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