Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
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