Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
