i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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