Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
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There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
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I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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