Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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