hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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