oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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