Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize