Can Purell be used as lube?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
