Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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