Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
