I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I woke up under a house in Key West
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