saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
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