glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize