just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize