you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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