I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
