She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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