I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
