i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
