i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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