i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
