Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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