im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
