Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
