his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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