Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
