If i come over, it means nothing
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
