last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
