I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
