Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
