I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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