whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
