Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
