Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
