sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
