Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
