You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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