rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
