1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
