end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Everything about him screamed your future.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
