A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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