I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize