All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you win again, gameday.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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