Pappa wants mamma naked
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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