wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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