super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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