I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
