i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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