apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
