I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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