not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
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I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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