Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
