I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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