He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
