Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
