3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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