apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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