So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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