I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
